{"id":16944,"date":"2020-04-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-04-21T04:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lajoieenrose.ca\/my-baby-is-a-star-when-motherhood-and-bereavement-collide\/"},"modified":"2025-05-27T09:41:43","modified_gmt":"2025-05-27T13:41:43","slug":"my-baby-is-a-star-when-motherhood-and-bereavement-collide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lajoieenrose.ca\/en\/my-baby-is-a-star-when-motherhood-and-bereavement-collide\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cMy baby is a star\u201d When motherhood and bereavement collide"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

EXCERP: Today, I would like to discuss a subject we seldom talk about in our culture. It hurts to talk about it and leaves most of us at a loss for words. What is it? Perinatal bereavement.If you are reading this article, you are no doubt aware that I create jewelry from breast milk. Each piece is a precious keepsake of an intimate time with our young one. Too often though, I create jewelry for women who have lost their baby. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I would like to discuss a subject we seldom talk about in our culture. It hurts to talk about it and leaves most of us at a loss for words. What is it? Perinatal bereavement<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are reading this article, you are no doubt aware that I create jewelry from breast milk. Each piece is a precious keepsake of an intimate time with our young one. Too often though, I create jewelry for women who have lost their baby. In those cases, the memento is not only precious \u2013 it is priceless.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Orphaned parents<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We call them \u2018orphaned parents\u2019, though there is no word in English for a parent who loses a child. I want to reveal to you a little bit about these moms and dads who go through the terrible trial of losing a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To begin with, if you are going through or have lived through such grief, you should know that there are a number of associations that exist for parents who just need to talk to people who will really understand them. One such association is Parents Orphelins<\/em><\/a>. They define perinatal bereavement as \u2018the death of a baby that occurs during the course of the pregnancy, in baby birth or during the first year of life.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regardless of the reason for the death of the baby \u2013 miscarriage, abortion for therapeutic reasons, sudden infant death, foetal death, or neonatal death \u2013 the psychological toll on parents is massive and the whole family is affected by the death of a child. Of course, we tend to think first of the mother who carried her baby and the physical and psychological loss of her child, but we oftentimes forget the father, as well as the siblings and grand-parents who will be forever affected by the loss. Orphaned parents, and families too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The day everything changed<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s impossible to measure the heartache and grief cannot be mapped on a timeline. Everyone is different, and everyone will grieve in their own way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the CHU de Sainte-Justine website, the section entitled The day everything changed<\/em><\/a> is dedicated to perinatal bereavement. Clearly, this is the reality of many, though it is not well known and often difficult to understand. Of course, all can appreciate the gravity of this event, but clearly knowing how to react, what to say, and what to do for the grieving families is a challenge for many.<\/p>\n\n\n

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Whether you personally have lived through this trial or know someone going through it, I would urge you to consult the videos posted on the pages I just referred to above (link here<\/a>). You will meet parents who tell their story and explain how they were able to overcome this ordeal. I am hopeful this will help eliminate certain taboos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Supporting bereaved families <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In its section Supporting a bereaved parent<\/em><\/a>, the association Parents Orphelins<\/em> gives many tips to help us support relatives or friends living through this situation. Another association, Les Pers\u00e9ides<\/em>, also offers suggestions worthy of careful consideration in the section entitled Aider un proche<\/em><\/a> (in French only). Here are some of them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n